Gosh...another mail....so interesting...=D

EVER WONDER...

...why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

...why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

...why you don't ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

...why "abbreviated" is such a long word?

...why doctors call what they do "practice"?

...why you hav! e to click on "Start" to stop Windows 98?

...why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor, while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?

...why the man who invests all your money is called a broker?

...why there isn't mouse-flavored cat food?

...who tastes dog food when it has a "new & improved" flavor?

...why Noah di! dn't swat those two mosquitoes?

...why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

...why they don't make the whole plane out of the material used for the indestructible black box ?

...why sheep don't shrink when it rains?

...why they are called apartments when they are all stuck together?

...if con is the opposite of pro, ! is Congress the opposite of progress?

...why they call the airport "the terminal" if flying is so safe?



In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (but that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Fritos: ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. details inside. (the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like! regular soap." (and that would be how???....)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down."(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:"Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought????...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a car or opera! te machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and...I'm taking this because???....)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)

On an American! Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (....DUH !!)

I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for
this one:

On a Swedish chainsaw:"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

aiyoh...how come the entry b4 cannot appear?!?!! let me use this as a trial...=D

gosh! dunnoe wad's wrong with this thing!!! sometimes the archives super long...then other times it jux disappear...wad the heck is going on...yup, wld like to say a big thank you all those who sign my gbk...luf u all!!!

arhx! mahjong dragon on at 11pm 2nite...my parents dun let me watch...bleahx. thanx chloe! she help me record know...sweetie! haha, hmm, tried buying the lord of the rings tix...failure. sold out. again.

"gorgeous" finally having vln lesson nxt wk...think i lan4 like shit now...

haha, aaron kwok not bad leh...ahha, betta than f4!!! (duh)

gosh...reached home an hour ago...went to sch...
got this guy come and ask me if cca record is useful for PSLE...goodness me...i didn't even have a cca record...haha
hee, jux realised that flora watch shu jian en chou lu and si da cai zi!!! haha, got one more person liaox...=D
wow...carol reads wu xia xiao shuo!!! haha, she was telling us abt shu jian en chou lu...
hmm, 2mrw nite at 11pm got some show called "mahjong dragon" on chn 8...a bit late...but zhao wen zhuo acting~~!!!
yup, can't believe these ridiculous stuff at the bottom, got frm an email..............

TEACHER: Why are you late?
WEBSTER: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
WEBSTER: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."

TEACHER: Cindy, why are you doing your maths sums on the floor?
CINDY: You told me to do it without using tables!

TEACHER: John, how do you spell "crocodile"?
JOHN: "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
JOHN: Maybe it's
wrong,
but you ask me how I spell it!

TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
SARAH: "HIJKLMNO"!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
SARAH: Yesterday you said it's H to O!

TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
GEORGE: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS: George!

TEACHER: Willy, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have
ten years ago.
WILLY: Me!

TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?
TOMMY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

SILVIA: Dad, can you write in the dark?
FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write?
SYLVIA: Your name on this report card.

TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?
JOSE: Don't bite any.

TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I".
ELLEN: I is...
TEACHER: No, Ellen. Always say, "I am."
ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

Teacher: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
Johnny : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the sameday sametime."

Teacher: "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry
tree,
but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish
him?"
Johnny : "Because George still had the axe in his hand."

Son : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
Father : No. Why do you ask that?
Son : Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?

Teacher : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and
one
is blue with red spots!
Kirk : Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair of thesame at home.

At a church school gathering, one little old lady approached a cute
5-year-old girl and asked her where she got her good looks.
"I musta got 'em from my Daddy," said the little girl, "'cause Mommy's
still
got hers."

Teacher: Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him,
what virtue would I be showing?
Student: Brotherly love.

Teacher: Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?
Sam : No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.

Teacher: Desmond, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your
brother's. Did u copy his?
Desmond: No, teacher, it's the same dog!

Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no
longer interested?
Pupil : A teacher.

arhx! so bored...and no inspiration somemore...

wad shld i write? jux went to heartland mall

yarh, my sis worried abt her new sch...blah blah blah

tired.

tired.

tired.

tired.

tired.

tired.